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Staying in the Present

December 30, 20213 minutes read100DaysOfWriting

What do you feel as you read this line? What is happening around you right now? I'll answer for me, I'm sitting at a wooden table as I type on my laptop. There's calm music playing on the side, the tiny plant that I bought from Ikea last week moves as my typing hands create small jerks on the table top.

There's a stained wine glass on my right, half empty from the past forty minutes while I thought about what to write. And there's me.

What is going on in your mind? A few things from the day, a few from the past month, a few things about some pending deliveries, and some thoughts about the weekend. This is quite calm as compared to a few other times when I'd go crazy in my head, only to later realise oh damn, it's my head, hence my wish.

I, at times, struggle to stay in the present. My mind wanders off to distant past, or to the fantastic future and brings with it some not-so-real worries. In meditation we are taught to become aware of the present by making space for our thoughts. This is what brings in clarity, and the ability to pick the important ones.

I have been struggling lately to practice meditation, and naturally been inviting thoughts that do not really matter to me. What I realised is that I'm not being able to find time for meditation, even 10 minutes of it. Surprisingly, the past couple of weeks have been the most lightly-packed weeks of the year for me. Yet I find no time?

Well, I found out that I have not remained as free as I had imagined. My mind was still at work, back and forth between the past and the future, at times resting in the present. I saw that at times my poor mind did not get time to think about what it was thinking. And it mostly traced back to one thing - sleep.

We at times see ourselves stuck in the routine. I find myself waking up late in the morning, doing my chores, and then rushing to the desk for my morning standup call. Then I spend some time sitting there, going through some work stuff, and then I make some coffee. And then some more work.

When I used to meditate regularly some time back, I remember a session where the guide mentioned, as a prompt to have a daily practice, imagine how 'busy' you are to not be able to take 10 minutes of the day for yourself'. And that had hit hard. It's a good reminder for now as well, and I plan to include meditation in my schedule again.

Yet, it all comes back to sleep. Good sleep is this magic potion that somehow no one talked highly of. I know how good I felt when I had woken up at 5/6 AM a few days in the year. God, those mornings. Good sleep fixes a lot of things. It makes you aware of your present time because you slept well yesterday.

So you want to stay in the present? Have a good sleep yesterday. It's all karma. I'm off to bed as well!

© Mohit Karekar • karekar.mohit@gmail.com